03 Twice Bitten by Chloe Neill

Author:Chloe Neill [Neill, Chloe]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 0451230647
Publisher: NAL Trade
Published: 2010-07-01T23:00:00+00:00

“I could have mooted all of Gabriel’s overtures, destroyed all the good rapport he’s building between shifters and vampires, because of my reaction. Just like that,” he added, snapping his fingers.

Then he went quiet for a moment.

“It’s been a long time for me since I’ve cared for someone. Since I’ve allowed instinct to take over.” His voice softened, as if he’d forgotten I was in the car. “I should have seen it coming. I should have considered the possibility that I’d react in such a way.”

Was I supposed to appreciate the admission that he cared for me when he was drowning in regret about it?

“What if Gabriel did offer an alliance, friendship, because of what you’d done for Berna? If we continued our relationship, and our emotions became intertwined, entangled, and it came to the same end as yours and Morgan’s—what then? All the bitterness? The bad feelings?”

What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to argue with him? Remind him of the physical bliss?

Reassure him that he wasn’t Morgan, and that our relationship was different?

“If we form an allegiance with the Pack, we’ll have made history. We’ll have made an allegiance that’s unique in history. And now my reaction has put that allegiance at risk. If that’s how I’m going to react, then I’m not ready for this—maybe not capable of it. Not when it puts the safety and security of the House at risk.” He was quiet for a moment. “There are three hundred Cadogan vampires, Merit.”

And I’m one of those three hundred, I silently thought, and forced myself to ask the next question. “So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can’t do this. Not now. Things are too fragile.”

I waited to speak until I was sure my voice wouldn’t waver. “I don’t want to just pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I don’t have the luxury of remembering. A girl isn’t reason enough to throw away my House.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and, with tears drying on my cheeks, made my decision. I’d spurned Ethan’s advances when he’d offered just sex. But I’d given in when he’d said he needed me.

In fact, he’d decided I was disposable.

I felt stupid—naive. But I wouldn’t let him see it, so I locked down my heart and found I could speak in that same cold voice he’d used. “You’ve changed your mind before. If you end it now and change your mind again, I won’t come back. I’ll stand Sentinel, but only as your employee. Not as your lover.”

It took a moment for him to answer . . . and break my heart.

“Then that’s the risk I take.”

We rode home in silence broken only by Ethan’s reminder that we were meeting with Luc before dawn to discuss the convocation. I managed not to reach across the center console and throttle him, but as soon as we were parked in the garage, I jumped out of the car and headed up the basement stairs and out the front door again.

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